Tricky Dick Nixon Elopes
With Hanoi Jane Fonda
To Maui

NOT BY BUCK QUAYLE Not this to Maui page.

Well just a little...it's kind of by Bob Kelsey...sort of.

Read down near the bottom.

To Maui

IT'S THAT TIME of the year: new faces are showing up and some of the old have returned. But most are not staying long. They are all finding out what we knew all along: it's impossible to find a place to live in Lahaina. Two past Lahaina residents, Karen Hibbard and Steve Gilbert, came back and found that jobs were easy to get-but that sleeping on the beach wasn't so easy. Karen had three job offers, but couldn't find an apartment. Steve has a job promised, but may have to wait a week or two for a room.

THE ANSWER to the housing problem could be provided if the State would release some of its huge land holdings on Maui and Let the new owners build apartments. But slim chance of that happening.

HITCHHIKING is now legal again in California. The issue of hitchhiking has been coming up all across the country. Many say that anti-hitchhiking laws prohibit the free movement guaranteed under the U.S. Constitution. Hitchhiking is widespread on Maui, although it's illegal to solicit a ride from the side of the road. Many young people simply walk along the highway hoping someone will stop. In some states it's not against the law to stick out your thumb, but it's against the law for a car to stop!

MANY MAHALOS to Skipper Dan O'Brien of the Scotch Mist who was kind enough to lend a hand to Don Graydon, of this paper, when Don's boat, The Yellow Submarine, dragged on its anchor and nearly drifted to disaster against the old concrete Mala Wharf. The boat would have run into more than a little bit of trouble had not O'Brien sped to the rescue from the Lahaina harbor.

A LOT OF PEOPLE plenty huhu about a certain new woodware shop that opened on Front Street. Seems they have undercut every other store's prices. Plus they have cluttered up the sidewalk with a hugh ugly log. That's no way to win friends.

DID YOU EVER NOTICE how clean Charlie's Juice Shack in front of the Lahaina Shopping Center is? It's a rare thing to see cups or papers on the ground. About 90% of the customers are longhairs, which goes to prove that Aunt Maude is wrong. The credit goes to Jim Fuller, the owner of Charlie's. Jim has been a friend to a lot of people in need, and his friends treat him right in return.

LET'S HOPE the news that the Tong Society building is going to be painted is true. It would be a crime to let this historic building go to ruin. It would be a great museum to showcase the talents and history of the Chinese on the island.

HEADLINES I'd like to see: NIXON ELOPES WITH JANE FONDA......J. EDGAR HOOVER BUSTED FOR INCOME TAX EVASION. Think up a few for yourself. This can be fun!

GLAD TO HEAR the weed patch next to the library is going to be cleaned up. Not only is it an eyesore, but the drunks who hang around there can be very unfriendly.

I THINK WE'RE LUCKY to have John St. John in Lahaina; his paintings are so mellow and easy on the eye. Painting comes from the mind and heart, and John must have a lot of both. His are paintings you can live with for a lifetime.

WHAT WAS THE FIRST Hawaiian word you learned? Not counting 'Aloha'. To many tourists, it's MAHALO. They may not know what it means, but they see it on trash cans in Honolulu. One tourist I talked to asked me what it meant. I told her it was 'Thank You'. "Oh," she yelled. "I thought it meant 'trash'. A lady in a store said it to me and I thought I was being insulted." (It's all true, so help me.)

AND OF COURSE you've heard the one about the tourist who ordered 'Malihini Malihini' in a restaurant.

IF ANYONE finds a pair of eyeglasses, return them to Mike Shotzberger in care of the Sun. He said he lost them somewhere between Lahaina and Lanai.

THIS PAGE is entitled to Maui. This to Maui page ends here. Can all you non-human readers understand this? Smile if you can.